5 Things No One Tells You About Returning

I left Cusco, Peru, on December 14, 2013. There was an abundance of tears at the airport, and I held hands with my best friends as I watched Cusco fade into the distance from my window seat. Five days later and I have managed to stop crying every time I think about how entirely much I miss my friends and my life in Cusco, mourning the fact that I will never be there, in that circumstance, ever again. While I am so happy to be with my family and friends in Snellville, Georgia, United States, I am forever changed in a way that I haven’t found words to communicate yet.

But, to distract myself from the gut-wrenching sorrow that I feel, I have been composing a list of the absolute weirdest things about being back in the States. There are things that you expect to be weird, that people tell you about, but then there are things you have to find out for yourself. Here are my top things that I generally do not understand after three months abroad. In no certain order:

1. The machine that is American commercialism. I think that this is heightened by the fact that I have returned ten days before Christmas, but nonetheless it is really quite incredible. There is just so much, and so many people buying all of it at once! I am simply not used to it, and being in a store of just books (arguably one of the things I missed most) was so overwhelming. I promptly left, went to the library and checked out five books. At once. (This is also coupled by the wastefulness of everyone around me – no, you do not need a television on at full volume for background noise. I also doubt very much that you need twenty pairs of socks all at once.)
2. Everything is so expensive! My budget at the moment includes Goodwill and all of the fine, lower-rung fast food dining establishments Snellville has to offer because I simply cannot justify spending $12 USD on a salad (that’s THIRTY soles!). It physically pains me to be using so much American money.
3. Having a smart phone again. Getting to use the internet is great for when you HAVE to check your email or tweet something really funny right then, but otherwise it is entirely overrated. Just anyone can contact me whenever they want now, and I don’t like it.
4. Not being able to run away into the mountains. Being surrounded by all these people, all these cars, all this noise all the time is slowly driving me crazy. True, I lived in a foreign city for eighteen weeks, I was nestled into the Andean foothills and could escape at a moment’s notice. Here, there aren’t mountains for miles and the claustrophobia is beginning to set in.
5. The pain you feel when people ask about your semester. This one is typical and warned about, but I didn’t think I’d actually hurt when people ask. I can’t sum it up in one sentence (I can’t even sum it up in a ten page paper), and people simply do not care enough to listen to me ramble on about it forever. Also, asking me a broad question nearly cripples me. Specific questions people! I can’t respond to “what was your favorite part?!” of the best three months of my life!

If this seems critical of America and the people around me… well, it is. But I am allowed time to mourn the loss of my utopian life; soon, I will be back to normal. But until then, I am missing the hell out of Cusco and all my friends there.

Valle de Lares

A couple of weekends ago I did a trek with some of my best friends in Cusco! It was a two-day trek through an area called Lares, which is at about 3700m (300m above Cusco) and about 3 hours away. We had an easy first day of simple walking through some of the most beautiful views I have ever seen – seriously felt as though we were walking through the set of the Lord of the Rings. Unbelievable mountains, crystal-clear rivers, alpine lakes, the works. We sat near rivers, hopped our way through incredibly boggy ground and laughed – a lot. We also collected some herbs that we were able to identify and made some of the best tea I’ve ever had that night – munia (which settles your stomach), mint, and eucalyptus were some of the herbs we collected. Munia is my favorite, but mint mixed with eucalyptus is incredible.

Bog hoppin’, with the help of my coaches! Made it through relatively clean… at least on this bog.

The scenery near the end of the first day. 

That night we camped near a waterfall in a small valley between two huge mountains. There was a huge storm – powerful winds, lightening so bright we were sure it was striking right between our tents, thunder that was loud to begin with but echoed off the mountain walls, and so much rain that it began to invade our tents. I was pretty cold even in every jacket I brought, three pairs of socks, a sleeping bag that is made for weather as cold as -10*C, and borrowed gloves from my very generous friend, but I made it through the night well enough.

Our campsite in the morning, between several small farms. The river is probably double the size it was before the rain. We had the great pleasure of meeting a Quechua woman who lived in the valley and communicating with her despite our language barrier, and were surrounding by llamas, alpacas and horses at various times.

The second day we had to make a mountain pass that was about 4500m, so it was only about 500m above where we camped but at that altitude everything was hard for me. I was so physically exhausted and the mountains definitely play mental games with me; I was relatively convinced I could not physically do it, and my roommate was the only thing that kept me going most of the time. To make matters worse, it started to rain (more like a rain/hail combination) the last hour of the mountain pass – it was so high, and we got socked in by the clouds in the mountains. I was scared because I could see only maybe 30 feet in front of me, and I was the slowest one of the group so I was afraid of getting lost. There were several times where I couldn’t breathe because I was either crying or simply overwhelmed, but Charlotte was there every time and got me to the top.

The view from the top was so incredible; I have never seen anything like it. The huge mountains in the background were so humbling; I had simply struggled my way through a mountain pass, not even a foothill of the towering mountains covered in snow beyond. I am not sure why people think they conquer mountains – that experience was so incredibly humbling for me, I can’t ever imagine considering myself as a conquerer of it.

The group at the top of the mountain pass! From left to right: Derek, Charlotte, myself, Derrin (Derek’s friend from Canada) and Alex.

The rest of the day was very easy – a nice walk down through the valleys to a town called Patacancha, where we caught a taxi to Ollyantambo and then a bus home.

(Many pictures are from my good friend, Derek. Thanks Derek!)

Poetry Slam!

This past week I participated in my first poetry slam ever – which also happened to be in Spanish!

I consider myself to be pretty comfortable with speaking in front of large groups, especially compared to other people who feel sick just addressing a classroom. This, however, felt very far outside of my comfort zone; I am not the best with Spanish pronunciation, and I definitely do not consider myself a poet (or really any kind of quality creative writer). With a lot of support and editing help from my dear friends, I plucked up enough courage to read aloud to a room full of my incredibly accepting friends. It was incredibly scary and the poem is no where near perfect, but it is mine. Here is the poem (don’t worry: the English translation is after the link!)

quizás hay vida después de muerte
como las flores en el florero de mi madre
o un árbol que se transforma en un recipiente para palabras bonitas
o la forma en que las lágrimas puede convertirse a risa
si dependes de las personas adecuadas 

quizás el más viejo me pongo
menos voy a entender
acerca de cómo el gobierno podría castigar a mi papá
para querer dar al mundo todo
o cómo mi hermana se merece menos amor
para creer que Dios la ama como ella es
como nos enseñaron cuando niños 

¿qué felicidad no significa nada sin tristeza?
¿puede que no probar el dulce sin sabor amargo?
¿volvería te quiero menos
si no hay adiós? 

quizás vez todos estamos muriendo
aprender más y entender menos
pero me alegro de entender menos
si eso significa que consigo estar rodeado
por personas como ustedes

Travel is fatal…

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow-mindedness.

Mark Twain

Traveler vs. Tourist

I’ve struggled with the idea of being a tourist for a long time – the simple idea is very repelling to me, and I do not like being grouped with the masses of people who “tour Cusco” on an open air double-decker bus, snapping pictures and getting sunburned, or with the people instagramming everything that they possibly can to show off their experience to all their friends back home. It puts a sour taste in my mouth just thinking about it, but what else could I be? I am living in Cusco for such a short amount of time (granted, longer than most gringos in Cusco, but relative to the rest of just my life it is incredibly short) and, although I am trying to soak up as much of the genuine culture as possible, I am still an outsider and will be for the rest of my time here. I want so badly to classify myself as something different, really to be anything other than a tourist, but I am (rightfully so) chastised by my wiser friends for having the pride to do so.

But there is a difference, I think, between being a blindly led tourist and being genuinely interested in your surroundings. I refuse to pay ridiculous amounts of money to be herded through the same experiences as hundreds of thousands before me; I am seeking, as much as possible, my own experiences that can’t be mass duplicated for the sake of a business. And it’s crippling, because how am I supposed to see all that I want to see and do all what I want to do and learn all that I want to learn without being herded through these channels? I could spend my entire life traveling through South America and never see and do all that I want to, let alone the rest of the world that I want to see. I could spend my entire life traveling, and it’s overwhelming and weighs on my heart because I know that there are so many things I will never see or experience. And maybe that’s why the tourism industry isn’t entirely evil; it allows people to experience part of the world, even if it isn’t entirely genuine and even if they are missing out on so much more than they could ever know. The world would be such a beautiful place if people could indulge in their wanderlust and leave all their worries behind, but perhaps it just isn’t a practical wish.

I’m not sure what this experience will be for; perhaps it will be the beginning of a passion for travel for the rest of my life, pursuing adventures and experiences that are solely my own and those I choose to share them with. There are people from every walk of life doing just that, and perhaps this is a great beginning. Or perhaps I will be resigned to being more of a tourist, taking my adventures where I can find them even if it means compromising a lot to get there. It’s an interesting line to walk, and I am excited to see down which path this life takes me.

A Request

I have been specifically asked by a certain someone (read: my dad) to describe my academics and placement experiences. I suppose this blog has taken a turn to myself gushing about my traveling and incredible friends, and I will try harder to expand the topics on which I gush about – but it is hard to write about class when I could be writing about fútbol and friends and hiking! But I digress.

Classes in Peru are, I am sad to say, a little bit of a flop. I am not academically challenged in my English-speaking classes, and while it is great that my time is not consumed by schoolwork I do wish that I were being pushed to think in new ways or even, really, being pushed to think much at all, rather than learning facts and reciting them on tests. I should clarify that my teachers are great and do push me to think beyond my borders, but almost consistently outside of the classroom and almost never pertaining to the subjects I am learning. I am thankful for a stress-free semester, but it is incredibly strange and makes me excited to take classes at Georgia College next semester that will most definitely challenge me, probably more than I will be ready for.

My Spanish classes, however, are different. I am currently taking Intermediate II, and so far it has been an absolute whirlwind. I am struggling to keep up with all of the tenses and grammatical points that we are learning, which is relatively normal for me in Spanish class. It is refreshing (and frustrating) to be pushed so hard. My profesora is incredibly understanding and supportive and takes the time to try to make learning Spanish fun for us, so I really love the classroom environment and the learning space she has created for us. That class only has about 5 students as well, so it really feels more like tutoring sessions than being a part of a huge class. 

My placements are going so incredibly well, and I am really happy there. The school is so much fun and I really enjoy getting to know the kids, although the stark differences between American education systems and Peruvian ones can be extremely frustrating at times. Going to the school is usually a highlight of my day, and I really look forward to my time spent there. The youth development is so incredibly much better than it was at the beginning; I am getting to know the kids much more, and I am no longer bullied for my Spanish (still teased, but in a more loving way that doesn’t leave me wanting to cry). The kids are awesome, and I am very comfortable in my Spanish concerning playing games, which is exciting and means that I am learning a lot there. It is more stressful than I planned to have to take a full course of classes (although they are so much easier than usual) and to have placement, but I think it is an experience I will be grateful for at the end of my program.

I both impressed with my Spanish at random intervals and feel like I am a little stagnated. I am so much better than I was when I first arrived, especially conversationally, but I wish so much to be a really good Spanish speaker and it’s still frustrating to feel as though I am not as good as so many of my friends here.

But mostly, the idea of leaving this experience in six short weeks usually makes me want to curl into a ball and cry, so I tend to try not to think about it. Everything is still so surreal, and I am trying as best as I can to understand that I am actually here and experiencing these things as best as I can before it is all over.

Missing Adventuring!

I’m not sure what I miss most – so much time with amazing friends, seeing incredible parts of the world I had never even imagined before, or our amazing dog friend who was most definitely my kindred spirit. All I do know is that I’m excited for my next adventure!

Halloween in Cusco!

I was excited for weeks to celebrate one of my favorite holidays with my friends in this incredible city, and I was definitely not disappointed. Although a lot of my friends tragically fell ill the day of Halloween and weren’t able to participate, it was so much fun to dress up and act a little crazy with all of my closest friends here. 

Leah, Dan, myself and Kaia! (A tiger, “Andyana Jones”, Ke$ha and Snow White, respectively)

I was completely unprepared for the amount of people out in Cusco that night – the main plaza was so packed that it was difficult to walk through it, a stark contrast to how it is usually deserted save for a few couples. I also was unprepared for the sheer amount of cat calls I received that night – let’s just say that I got more within a thirty minute period than I have ever gotten in my entire life. It is my fault for dressing as a notoriously ridiculous pop star that not one Peruvian I encountered had heard of, but I guess I had to learn the hard way. Thankfully I was surrounded by my friends and never felt endangered or overly uncomfortable.

All in all, the night was incredible and unforgettable and I am so glad I got to experience such an exciting holiday in Cusco!

This past weekend my friends and I got to play fútbol with some local Cusqueñans! It felt so good to finally get some exercise; my heart was beating so loud I could hear it in my ears, I was breathing harder than ever and I loved every second of it. We played fútbol for about two and a half hours, and then some of my friends and I played ultimate frisbee for another couple of hours. I was so sore the next day, but I already miss the rush and excitement of just being physically active. I think my friends and I are all going to pitch into renting the field once a week – it’s about S/.10, and there aren’t really any free parks in Cusco – so that we can all play and get a little exercise in.

These pictures of my friend, Kaia, and I – our program director let us borrow a couple of jerseys since we’re such incredible fútbol stars (okay, we sucked pretty bad, but it was a lot of fun nonetheless).

Puerto Maldonado

This past weekend I joined 13 of my closest friends in Cusco on an adventure to the Amazon rainforest! Early Friday morning we made our way down from the mountains and into the tropical rainforest of Peru, close to the borders of Bolivia and Brasil. Stepping off the plane and into the hot and humid air felt so deliciously good I could’ve cried; I have missed my Georgia weather! Driving down gravel roads and being surrounded by green made me feel like I was back in Georgia, even though I was as far away as I have ever been.

I spent the weekend in the amazing hot humidity (of which I was the only person who enjoyed – everyone else consistently said they felt like they were melting) and warding off some of the biggest bugs I have ever seen in my entire life. I had a highly traumatic experience with a spider the size of my hand at the dinner table, which promptly made me lose my appetite (not that I had much of an appetite to finish the hot soup they were force feeding us in the heat). There was a bat infestation in our bungalows, but I accepted their habit of swooping near my face at random intervals in the dark because it meant there were less bugs for me to combat. The bathrooms were better than I expected, but I avoided them as much as I could all weekend because they were a favorite hang out for cockroaches the size of my thumb and other cute little critters. 

On Friday afternoon we passed the time laughing and eating out of Snack Pack – the invention Kaia and I created on the bus home from Colca Canyon, a huge bandana filled with all kinds of snacks that were mostly made up of chocolate. We had the option of doing a ropes course, but I opted out because I don’t particularly like heights (and I’m glad I did, since my friends told me afterwards that the course was shaky at best). We then marched through the jungle to the Rio de Madre Dios, a river that feeds into the Amazon. I have never seen dirtier water in my life and I am pretty sure I was a lot closer to some wildlife than I wanted to be, but I had fun splashing around with my friends and being goofy in the water. Since the spider incident happened that night at dinner, I also opted out of the nature night walk. I had some great conversation with some friends and headed to bed relatively early.

Saturday morning we woke up at 4 AM (nope, not a typo) to go bird watching on the river. I saw multiple kinds of parrots in their natural habitat, which was cool since my parents own demon birds that are relatively similar to the ones I saw. After that, our morning sort of fell apart – our tour guide never showed up, so we spent multiple hours waiting for him on the boat. There were rumors floating around that he was robbed and/or assaulted, but it wasn’t confirmed and it all seems very sketchy to me. The morning, however, was incredible because I got to know a lot of my friends a lot better and loved them even more than I did before. I am seriously surrounded by some incredible people, and they continually make this trip much better than it could have ever been without their presence.

Eventually, we got our lunch and headed to a natural park. We walked about a mile and half before climbing into a canoe, where we canoed down a small river and into a lake. Here, we were supposed to see all kinds of wildlife – caimans, fish, monkeys, snakes, etc. – but all I saw was one lone monkey and some termites. Again, I had a lot of fun with my friends, but otherwise it was pretty disappointing – I had seen pictures of students holding huge anacondas and small caimans, and I honestly expected a lot more for my money.

 

Saturday night we had a bonfire that I left relatively early because ants attacked my sandal-wearing feet. That night, however, I had the most amazing conversation about Jesus with four of my friends – we stayed up until 2 AM, sharing stories and insights on our own relationships with our Savior.

Sunday we all woke up at 5 AM (see a trend yet?) to go ziplining – or so we thought. No one ever came to retrieve us from our bungalow, and when we went to the common area we found our back up guide passed out drunk on the couch because he went out the night before. Someone woke him, but all he did was point at the harnesses and tell us we could go by ourselves. Some of my friends went and said the lines weren’t much and that the safety procedures were, obviously, lacking in a major way. We had breakfast and headed to the airport to go home.

The entire group, including myself, is more than a little disappointed in the weekend. For a trip that cost almost $500, I expected a lot more. I can’t even imagine how much I would be able to do if I did my own trip to Puerto Maldonado with S/.1000 – I would seriously be able to live like a queen, so it’s frustrating that my hard-earned money went towards a program that was so sketchy and unprofessional. We have talked to my program supervisor, and he’s promised to speak to the main guide and see about getting some of our money back.

 All in all, I had a pretty incredible weekend in amazing weather with my beautiful friends, despite the utter disappointment that the organization was. I am so thankful for these people, because without their brilliance my weekend could’ve been a complete nightmare.